Kept You Waiting, Huh?

Wow it’s been a while since I’ve written anything here. Things have been extremely strange as of late and it got me wanting to get the site up and running and start maybe writing again.

I recently found out my heart is failing; I’ve had an aortic aneurysm, the left chamber of my heart is thickened and beats slightly slower than the left, my sinoatrial node is slightly out of whack and puts me into tachycardia regularly, and there’s possible damage to my aortic valve, but more testing is needed to find that out. I’ve spent quite a bit of time talking to and seeing doctors lately and it’s only going to continue for the foreseeable future.

It’s made me think about mortality a lot, obviously. I thought for the longest time I was okay with it, dying I mean. But when it became extremely real I was hit with so much regret and so many thoughts of things I hadn’t finished, and so many people I missed connecting with. No matter how ready you think you are you’re probably not.

Otherwise my health has been up and down in weird ways. The entire reason I even found out about my heart is because my esophogus is having a weird issue that we’re currently trying to figure out as well. I've lost about 40 pounds which while not a bad thing considering what my weight was it wasn't intentional and definitely wasn't healthy for me. 

But! Things haven't been all terrible! I've been walking quite a bit more now, which is helping my knee quite a bit. My migraines have been mostly taken care of outside of the occasional one that only lasts a couple hours. I've been mentally feeling better than I have in years after getting off social media. Generally outside of my heart I'm actually doing quite well.

I want to get back to working on Static in the Signal and Second Street Blues, which I have a bunch of ideas for. I actually want to maybe work on SSB with some friends and turn it into something entirely different.

Which leads nicely into me learning Blender! I started a couple months ago but then everything kinda happened and I've forgotten everything, but I've opened it up again in the last couple days and started back into my tutorials. First thing I'm making is a 'tuber model for the streams and all that, like this!

Otherwise, just trucking along with the channel. I really want to go back and wrap up some older playthroughs I fell off of and finish current outstanding ones. The one major issue for me is I end up taking so long to record and then another game catches my attention and I straight up lose interest in what I was playing. It's a problem.

Other than that not a ton to talk about right now. I might write a more in depth thing on my views on mortality and legacy and all that some day. Oh! I've been cooking a lot lately, maybe I'll document some recipes I've come up with here as well. For now, I think that's it. I'll try to actually do something with the website from here on out, I've missed having a little piece of the internet.

About 76,000 Words

Hey there, been a while. It’s been a bad year, if I’m gonna be honest. Back in March I was hit by a car and messed up my leg. After finally being able to go back to work, seven weeks later, my job started becoming extremely stressful due to harassment from a manager that upper management refuses to resolve and general bullshit from customers. The last month in particular have had me extremely frayed, which is why we haven’t been doing anything with the channel. It’s been a rough time, but during that I started taking more photos. I had to get a new phone after the accident and ended up with a Pixel 3a. It takes really amazing photos so I’ve wanted to take more pictures, which is slowly getting me out of the house more.

Outside of that we’ll be getting back to the channel soon. I’ve got some recording to do once it’s not 90f+ out and we’ll be back to our regularly scheduled trashfire. Anyway, here’s 76 pictures I’ve taken in the last month or so.

About 80,065 Words

Hey there. So, I moved again. How many times is that? I don’t even know anymore. I’ve taken a bunch of pictures since moving back to the pacific northwest, so I might as well toss them up here as well.

I guess in terms of updates I’m working at a pretty great place now, I’m out and planning on starting HRT as soon as I can.